Episode 81: Mental Health in the Workplace with Arriann Tauer Part 2

00;00;09;06 – 00;00;42;23
Kelly Parbs
We’re continuing our conversation about mental health in the workplace with Arriann Tauer. Today, we’ll focus on what managers and employees can do to balance compassion, accountability and workplace expectations. We’ll also talk about resources, including employee assistance programs and practical ways workplaces can support mental health. What does a mentally healthy workplace look like? What- what are some of the components of a mentally healthy workplace?

00;00;42;25 – 00;01;09;11
Arriann Tauer
When we look at a mentally healthy workplace, what I really think about is that that there are resources available. You know, if you are struggling, that there’s a lot of open communication with follow up that is really important, that the leaders as well as the employees, you know, that there’s a really good flow of information, whether it be process change or these kinds of things.

00;01;09;13 – 00;01;34;10
Arriann Tauer
And that there is a culture that’s beginning or it may be in place that, you know, if you are struggling with mental health or even just regular everyday coping right with home or work, that here are the resources that are available and here’s how you access them. So that’s where I see one of the biggest shifts in the last year is that it used to be we used to just have like, here are all your support systems on a flier.

00;01;34;12 – 00;01;58;15
Arriann Tauer
Good luck! You know and- and and no warm… you know no warm handoffs like hey I’ll call the EAP with you know like you know, what do you really looking for. You know that type of thing. So we’ve kind of clicked the dial to do just a couple extra steps to make sure that, you know, it’s a mentally well workplace, knowing that we have resources available.

00;01;58;18 – 00;02;19;24
Arriann Tauer
And we’re also standing behind that. We want to make sure you get what you need to go. And it’s not just a here, you try it and if it doesn’t work, then we just keep on working. So it’s really that culture shift that we’re starting to see more and more of that. That’s really important, along with making sure that people are aware that, you know, we all need to have healthy boundaries when we’re at work.

00;02;19;25 – 00;02;32;14
Arriann Tauer
And sometimes, yeah, we’re we’re not doing well. It will come out and we need to then talk to somebody about that, you know, and make sure that that is something that we communicate through all levels of whatever organization you work with.

00;02;32;19 – 00;02;50;00
Kelly Parbs
Sure. And all of that is not to say that there still aren’t all of the expectations of of the job in the first place, right? So but I think what I would add to that is that in a mentally healthy workplace, those expectations are made very clear.

00;02;50;03 – 00;03;21;06
Arriann Tauer
Yeah. Very very clear. And I think you know the other piece is too, is that we don’t want to go in with this. The false thought of you. No good mental health means that nobody struggles right. Because that’s that that is a non that that just does not exist. Okay. So what we talk about a lot in mentally well workplaces is knowing when you need to reach out, you know, reaching out for support early, being aware of your capacity and limits and using the resources.

00;03;21;08 – 00;03;39;22
Arriann Tauer
And then when you are struggling, you know, giving yourself and your teammates and even your leaders, you know, grace during those times, because we’re all going to have those times, you know, and if we and that’s just kind of the human component that we would really hope continues on in organizations in that loan.

00;03;39;25 – 00;04;03;12
Kelly Parbs
Sometimes I think it’s hard for managers to start conversations. They’re really well intended. They want to say the right thing. They want to approach a situation with compassion. But it’s hard to get those conversations started. Could you talk with us a little bit about how a manager might get a difficult conversation started?

00;04;03;15 – 00;04;24;28
Arriann Tauer
Well, I think it kind of an example. You know, I do work a lot with leaders in a very large organization. So this is something that bumps into my plate a lot. A lot of times what I’ll just say is make sure that if if the leader has now decided that she wants to have he or she wants to have a conversation with this employee, you know, my rules are really simple.

00;04;24;28 – 00;04;47;14
Arriann Tauer
It needs to be. Either off the clock or private, you know, because we don’t want to make it a public scene to talk about things. There’s also something that’s very important about setting aside designated time and formal time to talk about, like, I really care about you. I’m not seeing things improve for you. How can I help you?

00;04;47;15 – 00;05;16;00
Arriann Tauer
Right. So, like, making sure that it’s a designated time. And quite honestly, there are so many scripts out there that can help you, like, start the conversation. You know, like, I make it sound simple because I do this all day long. You know, if I, if I bump into you, Kelly, and say, you know, tell you just, you know, you usually it’s all going and and you’re just not yourself and, and I just really wanted to check in with you because this is the second time that I’ve kind of seen you not kind of being yourself.

00;05;16;01 – 00;05;50;16
Arriann Tauer
Is there something that I can help you with? Do you need to take a couple of minutes to just refresh? Can I support you? You know, that’s really how simple it can be. It doesn’t need to be anything more, you know, than that. If it’s about a particular, like, project or something, there are plenty of scripts that, I know, like leadership use that a lot of different businesses use or even calling an EP consultant, and they have quite a few scripts that they do because they work with leaders a lot and offer that type of support and help for them.

00;05;50;20 – 00;06;15;06
Arriann Tauer
So and it has to be language that you use, because I think what trips up a lot of leaders is that they try to use somebody else’s language and it’s not them, and then they trip over it, stumble over it, and then it sounds terrible, right? So even a script that I may give someone else, the first thing I say is put your words in there, what you want to compel and how you normally speak.

00;06;15;08 – 00;06;15;16
Kelly Parbs
Sure.

00;06;15;24 – 00;06;35;21
Arriann Tauer
That’s going to be yeah, it’s going to be 90% of your battle and it’s going to come off as authentic. Nobody wants it to come off as starched and weird, because if it does come off that way, nobody’s going to say anything. But if it comes authentically from you, how you normally speak, and with a carrying back on, you’re going to get a lot better results out of that.

00;06;35;22 – 00;06;53;18
Arriann Tauer
And it’s scary to do, you know? I mean, you’ve been in that position. I’ve been in that position. It’s scary to do, but I can tell you there’s never been a time where myself or other people I’ve worked with have regretted having that conversation. They’ve regretted waiting to have that conversation.

00;06;53;20 – 00;07;10;10
Kelly Parbs
Right. And what I noticed about the examples you gave is they all started with an observation, something tangible that that you observed that is different than what was typical or normal for that person.

00;07;10;12 – 00;07;31;04
Arriann Tauer
Correct. And the reason I have I say that is because that also backs up that that belief and that we all want is we want people to notice us. We want people to know that we’re there. We’re engaged. We’re not engaged. So when you pick up something specific that’s really telling them that, okay, I observe this in you and I care for you.

00;07;31;04 – 00;07;40;27
Arriann Tauer
And I’ve been watching and I’m not seeing the norm that I normally see. And I want to check in. And that personalization really helps with then following through with some sort of support.

00;07;41;01 – 00;07;55;18
Kelly Parbs
And again, I just want to highlight that this works for peers, you know, employ to employ as well as manager to employee. Just recognizing observing what’s going on and saying that you care. Absolutely.

00;07;55;19 – 00;08;18;08
Arriann Tauer
Because a lot of us, we have great teams that we work with. And we’ll notice a colleague if they’re off. Right. Right. And and that I think that’s really important that if you want to have a really good team that works well together, that’s kind of one of the keys of that team, is that people are accountable for not only their own things, but they’re also accountable for their whole team and checking in with others.

00;08;18;15 – 00;08;27;25
Kelly Parbs
Right, right. How would you say that you balance the compassion that we’ve been talking about with accountability.

00;08;27;27 – 00;08;53;26
Arriann Tauer
I think that’s one of the hardest things to do, to be really honest, because I think a lot of us, whether it’s peer to peer or leader to, you know, direct report, we want, you know, most of us want to be liked. We want to make sure that it’s a positive thing. Right. But the reality is, is that when you are in whatever role you are, you’re still balancing the needs of the organization and the job that needs to get done.

00;08;54;01 – 00;09;18;06
Arriann Tauer
You know, and that’s the reality of that. And it could be a, you know, we really helped you through like these things here. But we’re still seeing some I don’t want to say deficit, I don’t like that word. But we’re seeing some things that are still not quite up to par. You know, is this an opportunity where, you know, maybe we have a colleague picked up this work for the next month or so to give you a break.

00;09;18;07 – 00;09;41;29
Arriann Tauer
Like, if that’s even doable. Right. Or or is this do we need to do an a, a performance improvement so that we’re checking in more frequently to make sure that we get these things done? You know, is it a once a week check in and I audit this chart or whatever it is that you’re doing, right? Because of those two things, then it’s a weekly check in so you can kind of see how the person is doing.

00;09;42;03 – 00;10;05;29
Arriann Tauer
You’re also can see the quality of their work. Is there more support that’s needed? Right. And then the other piece is also kind of setting a timeline out. To then have to revisit this whole conversation because I know whatever corrective action, performance improvement, whatever your company uses, right. There’s usually an end term like a 30, 60, 90 day.

00;10;06;05 – 00;10;27;18
Arriann Tauer
It’s really no different. You set the goals in with the 30, 60, 90 days and go, okay, we’ve got to this point and things are still not changing now. Now what do we need to do? Right. You know, and I think that’s the tough part of that. But that’s also that cloak that whether it’s a leader or a peer can say, look, we still have a job we need to do, you know, and we really care about you.

00;10;27;18 – 00;10;32;20
Arriann Tauer
So how are we going to meet me, make both of those things come together into one?

00;10;32;26 – 00;11;00;05
Kelly Parbs
Sure. And I think it absolutely is possible to say I care very much about you. And the job has to get done. And and these are the expectations. Yeah. So we referred to employ assistance program earlier EAP And a lot of our listeners do have an EAP, and I understand that some maybe don’t. But I think it is an important benefit to talk about.

00;11;00;08 – 00;11;08;04
Kelly Parbs
Let’s start with from your perspective, what do you think some of the misconceptions about employee assistance programs are?

00;11;08;06 – 00;11;39;09
Arriann Tauer
I think the biggest shoe that I hear a lot is it’s only for counseling. You know, it’s only for counseling. We don’t need it for anything else. And then, is it truly confidential? You know, because I because people even though we have removed so many layers of stigma when it comes to mental health or substance abuse, there is still a heavy stigma of people being very fearful of their colleagues, coworkers, bosses finding out that they’re having issues.

00;11;39;14 – 00;11;51;11
Arriann Tauer
And so that confidentiality piece, I think it’s people tied up and not sometimes and not wanting to call out. So those are the two biggies that I hear the most. You know, when.

00;11;51;13 – 00;11;53;02
Kelly Parbs
I agree.

00;11;53;05 – 00;11;57;18
Arriann Tauer
And then I want to yell and go, but there’s so much more, you know, that they offer. Right.

00;11;57;20 – 00;12;13;17
Kelly Parbs
Right. Well, and let’s talk about that because the counseling piece is very, very important. And we do want people to think about EAP in terms of counseling. But your point there’s so much more. Can you talk a little bit about the so much more?

00;12;13;20 – 00;12;38;07
Arriann Tauer
Well, I think for one of the things that I’ve noticed, and it really depends on what product is offered. But, you know, I frequently talk about the EAP and go, hey, I got my will done, you know, because there’s legal help that’s available. We’ve had some quite a few in Wisconsin, recent floodings and tornadoes. Right. Our EAP was able to offer resources for folks like who to call.

00;12;38;08 – 00;13;02;19
Arriann Tauer
Did they call the Red cross? Did they do that? Some of the people I’ve had call because they were trying to find someone to kind of watch their mom, who was just starting on the dementia journey. Like, there are so many things that are available, like dog sitting there is discounted this, discounted that. Like there’s so many things that people don’t realize that EAP programs offer that it’s not just a counseling service.

00;13;02;25 – 00;13;22;06
Arriann Tauer
And which is why when I do a lot of trainings, I say, please just go on and start scrolling. Like everything that’s available. You will be shocked what’s available, because most people have it in those two categories, you know, chronic counseling, and it’s open 24 over seven and they don’t think about anything else.

00;13;22;08 – 00;13;47;04
Kelly Parbs
And if people attend, I’ll do sometimes a 30 minute EAP overview. And after people attend that they are always in shock and they say, I had no idea. I had no idea I could put a will together at no cost. I had no idea I had free financial or legal consultation. And and again, every EAP is different and I’m not necessarily telling our listeners what benefit they have.

00;13;47;09 – 00;14;09;17
Kelly Parbs
But if you do have an employee assistance program, just know there’s a wealth of benefits available that you may not even know about. And my rule of thumb is typically, if there’s anything in your life that’s causing you stress, EAP very well might have a resource for you. It’s worth checking out. And what would you say to the question about confidentiality?

00;14;09;19 – 00;14;12;27
Kelly Parbs
How would you explain that to an employee?

00;14;12;29 – 00;14;39;08
Arriann Tauer
Well, what I always tell the employee is that, you know, the EAP does not is not part of the organization. It is an outside organization. So all documentation is kept, confidential with, you know, limited identifiers, like if your boss were to call and say, hey, did you know Susie Joe call about counseling? They’re not going to get that information unless you signed a document saying that you want to be able to share that information.

00;14;39;12 – 00;15;02;26
Arriann Tauer
So it’s no different than, you know, like HIPAA going to your doctor. EAP is very similar in that in that vein, especially when we’re talking about mental health and that type of thing, you know, that that’s really important for the confidentiality piece that, you know, yes, there are records kept, but it is usually kept on the, EAP side.

00;15;02;27 – 00;15;28;23
Arriann Tauer
And really all of that is, is this to make sure that if someone calls back, they know what you know, what services were offered and those types of things and even the confidentiality level that I think people get chipped up on to is that, you know, a lot of the apps have leadership consultation where leaders can call and get consultation regarding maybe direct reports that they’re not really sure what to do with, you know, and that type of thing.

00;15;28;28 – 00;15;46;14
Arriann Tauer
And that is all confidential as well. That does not go back to their leader or anything like that. It is truly one of the greatest resources you can use with the confidentiality. And it’s in place because it is very strict. It is very regimented for reason to make sure that people use it.

00;15;46;17 – 00;16;11;16
Kelly Parbs
Absolutely. And in terms of what kind of report the company gets. Let’s say you get a quarterly report. It has no identifiable information. It simply is going to tell you how many employees called, maybe what types of issues are going on with your organization, but in no way can the employees be identified.

00;16;11;18 – 00;16;36;24
Arriann Tauer
Correct, correct. And I do think sometimes it is really nice when there is a particular employee that people have been struggling with, that when the EAP has been involved, it has been very, very helpful because they can give so many resources even to, like leaders and stuff, you know, with given permission to do so that can really help them, that employee perform better and do all of those kinds of things.

00;16;36;24 – 00;16;41;19
Arriann Tauer
But it has to be with the right kind of consents in place. But it’s a great resource.

00;16;41;22 – 00;16;58;09
Kelly Parbs
I’m sure that in your career you’ve had so many stories, worked with so many people, but does any particular story come to mind in terms of someone who maybe was struggling, and was able to use resources that you want to share with us?

00;16;58;12 – 00;17;25;25
Arriann Tauer
Absolutely, absolutely. I had a young lady who had multiple things going on. She caring for an, elderly grandparents, had young kids of her own. This was her first foray into what we call the real job right after graduation. And she just was not doing well. She was missing form. She was missing parts of her job performance.

00;17;25;27 – 00;17;55;20
Arriann Tauer
People were noticing that she was late or she was very short, clipped, you know, not very talkative. So how all this process ended up coming to be is that one of their, her leaders reached out to myself and then also reached out to the EAP and we, myself and the leader and the EAP, we all kind of talked about what was going on, what we were seeing with this particular person, and the leader was like, she’s bright, she’s got everything going on.

00;17;55;21 – 00;18;16;25
Arriann Tauer
She understands the job. There is just something that’s really like large that’s preventing her from being a successful as she can. And she goes, I feel like I can’t reach her and I don’t really know what to do. Right? So what we ended up doing, which ended up working out really, really well, is that this young lady came just to meet with me for coffee.

00;18;16;28 – 00;18;51;19
Arriann Tauer
Didn’t want to even make it a counseling appointment or anything like that, and just did a little touch base with her. And she was very open about things that were going on with her between taking care of her, her elderly parents with dementia, child care issues, some other things that were going on, and that she goes, my brain is just so filled with trying to just deal with the day to day stuff that’s happening at home that I just don’t have the muscle memory or the brain memory to do all these detail oriented things that I have in my particular job, which with her job was very, very important.

00;18;51;24 – 00;19;14;15
Arriann Tauer
So what we ended up doing is her and I, warm called the EP together. We got one of the consultants on the line, and we started to talk through some of her issues that she felt that might be really limiting her in being able to engage in her job, and also really just to kind of thrive and live at work and at home, which wasn’t happening at the time.

00;19;14;22 – 00;19;38;07
Arriann Tauer
So we were able to walk through like the priorities. We got some, leads for assistance for her mother. We got some leads for daycare support and assistance for her kids getting on and off the bus. Then we were able to leap in her leader, with her permission, of course, to talk about, like, the performance improvement, the things that she was seeing as well.

00;19;38;10 – 00;19;54;19
Arriann Tauer
And we basically laid out a six month timeline of, you know, how we could get you support. What does this look like? What are you going to get measured against, like for each month? And then at the end of the six months, then we were going to kind of do a full circle back and see where things were.

00;19;54;22 – 00;20;16;12
Arriann Tauer
She ended up hooking up with one of the EP counselors and did for us in our company. We offer a free session. She did eight sessions with this individual, kind of helped work out her own stuff, but then one of the consultants was able to help her with some of the cancellation issues. She got some legal assistance and those kinds of things.

00;20;16;12 – 00;20;39;03
Arriann Tauer
And so when we got all of that loop back in and her leader, who was involved, per the employees choice, we were able to sit down and do a great, performance improvement plan, of which she met all of her stuff within three months. And she would have she has come back to me many times about just different things in her life, because now this was a pretty big thing for her.

00;20;39;09 – 00;20;58;12
Arriann Tauer
And she said, you know, I would have never gotten through that had I not gotten support with my mom and my kids, and I never thought the EAP would do that. And the legal advice was really helpful with that and those kinds of things. And that is a person who now is actually a leader, and she started out fresh out of school.

00;20;58;12 – 00;21;26;25
Arriann Tauer
So I feel like that was one of my better stories is that she was engaged and ready to go. She was very reluctant. But I think how you approach it and how you address it is really important. I didn’t just walk in and say, we’re going to do a counseling session. We went to coffee, you know, and I think part of that is that whole experience of how do you talk about getting support services, how do you it doesn’t have to be formal and icky and uncomfortable.

00;21;26;27 – 00;21;53;14
Arriann Tauer
This was just two humans checking and going, how can I help you? And she is still very much employed with the company I work for and excelling, so I thought that was a great example of someone who was able to go through the full route and get the support for herself, and I think the other piece that people forget is that for some EP programs, you also get coverage and benefits for whoever is in your household.

00;21;53;17 – 00;22;07;24
Arriann Tauer
And so that’s what really helped her is that we could help her kids, we could help her mom, we could help another person that was living with them. So we were able to kind of do the full gamut, which was 99% of her stress load. So I think that’s awesome.

00;22;07;28 – 00;22;19;18
Kelly Parbs
Yeah, I think that’s awesome, too. And I, I loved how you said to humans checking in with each other, it can just be that simple and that kind. I love a good success story. Thank you for sharing that.

00;22;19;19 – 00;22;21;04
Arriann Tauer
Absolutely.

00;22;21;06 – 00;22;30;00
Kelly Parbs
So what would you say to someone who has considered calling but just hasn’t taken that first step?

00;22;30;02 – 00;22;56;00
Arriann Tauer
Normally what I say is I’m I tend to be a humor person. So I always say, well, you know, I know the EAP professionals don’t bite, you know? So let’s let’s call them together, you know, if you feel uncomfortable, we can hang up during the call at any time, you know? And a lot of times that’s really all it takes is people, a lot of people don’t like to call in to 800 numbers, you know, they, they kind of freak out about having to go through the screens and all that.

00;22;56;00 – 00;23;17;12
Arriann Tauer
And I know that a lot of different companies also now have just web based services where you can log in and not have to talk to people. But that’s one of the ones that I use the most is like, I can see you’re really worried about calling, you know, would you love to call with me? You know, I’ll even call and pretend that I’m the employee.

00;23;17;12 – 00;23;38;09
Arriann Tauer
So you can hear some of the stuff that goes through. And sometimes that really tempers their fears and their concerns about, like, what’s being shared, how are things going on. And I think a lot of us, once we have someone sitting by us, then they’re willing to call back a second time because they realize that, the person on the other end of the line is truly there to help them, right?

00;23;38;14 – 00;23;58;27
Kelly Parbs
It’s really been my experience. Once people are brave enough to make the call and reach one of our counselors at Life Matters EP, which is part of empathy. They say, why didn’t I call sooner? I was such a kind person who really cares about people and and really wants to help. So sometimes it’s just a matter of getting past the fear of that first call.

00;23;58;29 – 00;24;11;04
Kelly Parbs
But like you said, now there’s web based services as well where you can maybe reach out through text to through a website. We’re making it easier for people to contact us for sure.

00;24;11;07 – 00;24;31;10
Arriann Tauer
Well, and I think, too, sometimes if people are struggling with some mental health or substance abuse stuff, right, that they’re not thinking as clearly as they would like, so then it gets really complicated in their head versus just calling it 800 number. You know? And so sometimes having that other person just be there is really an important step to get them connected.

00;24;31;12 – 00;24;56;09
Kelly Parbs
Absolutely. And like you said sometimes it can be it feels so complicated like yes, maybe I am, you know, really sad about my marriage, but I’m also having these financial issues. And I also think I need to talk to an attorney. And I don’t even know. I don’t even know what resource I need. And and the EAP professional that they’re speaking with can help sort that all out and can help explain that we have resources for all of that.

00;24;56;09 – 00;25;16;02
Kelly Parbs
Let’s take it one at a time. Let’s get you a counseling resource if that’s what you would like. But let’s also get you connected to our financial services so they can help you put together a budget and kind of slow the process down and, and help people do it in chunks that are more manageable and not so overwhelming.

00;25;16;05 – 00;25;35;12
Arriann Tauer
Well, and I think that’s one of the most important pieces when I finally get people to call is I’m like, look, they’re going to go through and figure out, okay, this is a five alarm fire. We need to take care of this first. Right? And so they go down the list of the things that you’re calling in about and like, okay, we need to tackle this first, this next this whatever.

00;25;35;14 – 00;25;57;21
Arriann Tauer
And just even that steps mentally really helps people like get back to baseline. We’re like okay I’m overwhelmed, but I’m not drowning. You know, because now I have step one, two and three. And that’s what a lot of the EAP professionals are trained to do. It’s like, okay, what’s the crisis? What do we need to do now? And what are some of the other services and things that could help?

00;25;57;26 – 00;26;10;11
Arriann Tauer
All the other things kind of fall in line. And I think people forget that because they’re like when they’re in distress, everything is 911 and they don’t even know how to differentiate what’s lesser or what’s more.

00;26;10;13 – 00;26;12;01
Kelly Parbs
Sure, where do I even begin?

00;26;12;02 – 00;26;13;02
Arriann Tauer
Right.

00;26;13;05 – 00;26;20;20
Kelly Parbs
What’s one thing that you wish every manager understood about supporting employees?

00;26;20;22 – 00;26;39;01
Arriann Tauer
You don’t have to do it alone. And I and I, and I say that because I think a lot of managers feel like they have like there’s some special book, but if they find it, tell me what it is. But they that they’re supposed to know how to do all of that. You know, there are mental health professionals for a reason.

00;26;39;07 – 00;27;04;16
Arriann Tauer
You know what I mean? And there’s substance abuse professionals for a reason. So when I say that, I don’t say that in a joking manner. It’s that, you know, sometimes you just have to ask for someone else to step in. It’s not all on your shoulders to do it. And when people do that, though, they end up doing more harm than good because they’re stepping into something that they’re really they kind of know about, but they don’t know enough about to not harm.

00;27;04;23 – 00;27;22;26
Arriann Tauer
And so I just said, it’s not always yours to fix. And if you’re going, I don’t even know what to do here, then that might be your first indicator that you need to reach out and get some support as to maybe what your next steps are to help this employee, right? Or leader or colleague or whatever. Right?

00;27;22;28 – 00;27;46;15
Kelly Parbs
It’s your point. Earlier, the EAP is there for the manager to free consultation and it can be confidential consultation. You can call it EAP and just say, hey, I have this employee who’s really going through a hard time. She’s coming to work. Her eyes are puffy. She’s clearly been crying. She’s been late four out of five days this week.

00;27;46;19 – 00;28;13;07
Kelly Parbs
She has a history of being an excellent employee, but things seem to really be spiraling out of control. I don’t want to be nosy and get in her business, but what should I do? And we have consultation specialists available. Who can who can help navigate that for managers. So if you’re a manager and you have an employee assistance program available to you, it would be a great way to use it, right?

00;28;13;09 – 00;28;34;28
Arriann Tauer
Or even if you’re really skilled manager like let’s say you are like a mental health. You’re like a social work manager, right? So you know, the skills sometimes it’s it’s very helpful to call and go, okay, I just need to have a neutral party to bounce something off of. Right. Because this is an employee or this is my leader or whatever it is, and I don’t want to step into it, even though I have the knowledge.

00;28;35;02 – 00;28;56;20
Arriann Tauer
I just need to like, tell the story and then have a neutral party come back with like some options. Or am I reading this correctly or whatever? Because resources are everything, you know and we are dealing with so much information overload anyway. Sometimes it’s really helpful just to reach out to that neutral third party and go, okay, I don’t know what to do next.

00;28;56;22 – 00;29;00;28
Arriann Tauer
And please give me some guidance. And more than one step would be great.

00;29;01;01 – 00;29;07;05
Kelly Parbs
Yep. Great advice. So what is one thing you wish every employee knew?

00;29;07;08 – 00;29;12;28
Arriann Tauer
I wish that every employee would know that everybody’s struggling.

00;29;13;00 – 00;29;14;04
Kelly Parbs

00;29;14;06 – 00;29;34;21
Arriann Tauer
And it doesn’t mean that everyone’s struggling at the level that you’re at or less or more or whatever. But I think that that’s one of the things that people when you start to really struggle, you feel like I’m the only one in this mess and I don’t even know what to do. And you know that that’s really not true.

00;29;34;27 – 00;29;57;09
Arriann Tauer
You know, there are so many people that are struggling with things silently and they don’t ask for help. That I encourage people that if you are struggling, please reach out for help because everybody is it’s it’s not a sign that you’re not as good as that you should be better or whatever. Everybody is struggling with something. It’s just the the level of struggle, whatever they’re dealing with.

00;29;57;10 – 00;30;17;09
Arriann Tauer
You know, sometimes it could be childcare with their kids. Sometimes it’s my mom starting to get dementia. Sometimes it may be like my mood is not myself, you know, I don’t know what’s going on. Right. But that’s what I really wish people would know is that even your type, A fabulous manager that you love and respect probably has some struggles as well, you know?

00;30;17;10 – 00;30;24;22
Arriann Tauer
And just to know that we’re human. Most of us struggle when we’re humans, and that’s just the reality, right?

00;30;24;22 – 00;30;47;13
Kelly Parbs
And that’s in the beginning of our conversation. We talked about bringing humanity into the workplace and recognizing that we are all whole people with lives outside of work. Asking for help isn’t weakness. It’s really a sign of strength. Knowing your resources and using them and and asking for help. That isn’t weakness.

00;30;47;16 – 00;31;07;15
Arriann Tauer
No it’s it’s not weakness at all. And I, I joke around and say none of us would run around with like an appendicitis for 3 to 6 months. Right. And go God. Well that pain is going to go away eventually, right? Like I’m just going to walk funny. But we do that with our mental health and substance use and when we’re struggling all the time.

00;31;07;17 – 00;31;25;14
Arriann Tauer
Well, I’ll do it next month. I’ll do it next month. And I say that to a lot of young employees when I do trainings with them. And like, nobody would do that, you know, but then we fall on to that. That’s a health issue. And then why don’t we do that for our mental health? Well, you know, health is health.

00;31;25;14 – 00;31;34;25
Arriann Tauer
It doesn’t matter if it’s your physical health or your mental health. It still needs to be taken care of. And I think that’s still tricky for some people. Yeah.

00;31;34;27 – 00;31;43;00
Kelly Parbs
Yeah, I think we’re doing a better job in the workplace of reducing the stigma around mental health. But I think we still do have a ways to go.

00;31;43;03 – 00;31;45;05
Arriann Tauer
Yep I agree.

00;31;45;07 – 00;31;56;29
Kelly Parbs
So as we’re starting to wrap things up here, I’m wondering, after everything you’ve seen throughout your career, what gives you hope about the future of work, place, mental health?

00;31;57;01 – 00;32;28;19
Arriann Tauer
I think what gives me hope is that I’m starting to see, like large organizations and even small ones, that when they’re sitting down to do their budget, that we’re seeing that mental, you know, whether you want to call it mountain wellness, well-being, whatever, whatever label the organization wants to put on it, that we’re seeing a lot of dollars being put in that column, which and services to back that up, which ten, 15 years ago was not happening at all.

00;32;28;26 – 00;32;50;17
Arriann Tauer
But now it’s like we have our full, you know, whether it’s a wellness program and then you get reward points. And if you talk to a counselor, you get extra points. Like, like there’s so many things out there now where, you know, it is actually part of organizational culture and structure to provide wellbeing services for leaders, employees and everything.

00;32;50;24 – 00;33;09;28
Arriann Tauer
And that that’s at the top of the list, like any research that you want to go out and do like for what’s new in the business world, it is all about wellbeing and how we keep our employees and leaders while at work so we can retain them, we can grow them, we can do all the things that we want.

00;33;10;00 – 00;33;22;20
Arriann Tauer
And I think that that’s really exciting, that that has now become a very large part of a culture. We’re in the past, it was kind of this really small thing that we kind of pointed out, and then we let it go away.

00;33;22;23 – 00;33;47;11
Kelly Parbs
I agree, and I think you’re right, there’s a whole lot of reasons to to be hopeful for the future in terms of mental health in the workplace. And I would say that today, one of my key takeaways is that being human and being productive are not competing goals. Both can happen in the workplace and supporting people and holding people accountable.

00;33;47;14 – 00;33;54;28
Kelly Parbs
Those just aren’t competing goals in a healthy workplace. They actually, support one another.

00;33;55;00 – 00;34;19;14
Arriann Tauer
Yeah, it’s a balance, you know, and I think if you can kind of keep all of that stuff in balance, that’s where you see, you know, happy employees less, you know, absenteeism, that’s where you see all that stuff when that stuff’s in balance. And I think that’s a great goal for, you know, employer groups moving forward that we can continue to strike that balance for our leaders, for the organization and the employees.

00;34;19;16 – 00;34;50;16
Kelly Parbs
Mental health is a part of workplace health. And one thing I really appreciate about this conversation is the reminder that we don’t have to choose between caring about people and caring about work. A mentally healthy workplace isn’t one where no one struggles or expectations disappear. It’s one where people know they matter. It’s okay to ask for help. Managers know how to respond, and employees are supported in being successful.

00;34;50;19 – 00;35;17;08
Kelly Parbs
Thank you, Arriann Tauer, for joining us and helping us look at this issue from the perspective of employees, managers and organizations here. This episode and other episodes of OnTopic with Empathia, visit www.Empathia.com. Follow us on social media @Empathia, and subscribe so you don’t miss an episode. Thanks for listening to OnTopic with Empathia – I’m Kelly Parbs.